“Life is always now.”
~Tennessee Williams
No matter what side of politics you are on, the past year has been one that has been supercharged in a way we have not experienced before. On the one hand, how great it is that so many people are engaged with the political process, and want to make a difference. On the other hand, the supercharged nature of the way information has been shared, and the way we receive this information has been tough for many people to process, accept, and digest.
What I know about myself is that I feel things very deeply. Perhaps it goes back to growing up as a middle child where I assumed the role of natural mediator, and maybe it’s just the way I am wired. I have the current wisdom to know that I see almost any glass as ½ full rather than empty…almost all of the time. This doesn’t mean that my only lens of life sees “rainbows and unicorns.” Believe me, this is far from the truth. What I know is that when I feel angst, pain or anger, I feel it physically. It manifests itself in an uneasy feeling that constricts my breathing, increases my stress, and makes me quick to respond to people in a way that I really don’t like.
What I do know is that when these uneasy feelings show up, I notice them. Yep, I do my best to notice them, acknowledge them, and then I get a choice as to what I do with them. I do try to see the good things going on, and when there is so much discord in the world around me, it’s often hard to wade through it to find some peace and presence.
As the November presidential election approached I did what I could to rationally think through my choices about how I wanted to respond, though the barrage of media, the conversations that surrounded me, and my own inner questioning loomed large on the horizon. Each day I tried to think about what I could do, and what I wanted to avoid so I could mange the day in the way that would be in service of my own health and wellbeing. It was not easy for sure!
On election night, I chose to turn the television off early in the evening. I knew that it would be a sleepless night whether I watched or tried to get some sleep. I didn’t sleep, though I knew enough to turn the television off so I could step away from what took my breath away. The constant back and forth between political pundits was dizzying and difficult for me to watch. I turned the television off! As hard as it was to catch my breath, I did implement extra conscious breathing during my day and especially at night to calm the internal dialogue that was running on overtime.
The next morning the media barrage continued, though there was something else in the air. I wanted the time and space to process all that had happened with the hope that I could put the past 18 months in a place that made sense so I could move forward. HA! What a nice thought (though it was a completely unrealistic wish).
I pulled the covers off, stretched my body as I do every morning as I get out of bed, showered, dressed, and went off to work. When I got to work I received a hidden gift that I hadn’t expected. During the day I work as a corporate wellness coach, and I have the great privilege of meeting face-to-face with employees who work with me on areas of weight management, stress management, nutrition, exercise, work/life balance, life satisfaction, and tobacco cessation. On this day I had 1:1 client sessions, and I had set aside time to sit in the cafeteria to meet informally with employees to promote the coaching program and work. I wasn’t sure what (or who) would show up.
Many of my clients brought up the election, and their feelings associated with what they were experiencing. What I love about my work is that I get to help people choose the perspective that is most helpful to them, and work with them to set the SMART (specific measureable, actionable, realistic, time sensitive) goals to assist them in moving closer to their goals. Many emotions showed up, and because coaching is all about the client and not me, I received the gift of letting my own “stuff” go for the day so I could help people re-focus, breathe, and be kind to themselves in this moment. You may be thinking that those who voted for the candidate that didn’t win responded differently than the people who voted for the president elect. You would be wrong. I met with people who shared similar feelings on both sides of the political aisle. I spoke with people who whispered to me that it was hard to celebrate their winning candidate in an environment that felt so divided. Again, it wasn’t at all about the specifics of the election in these conversations. It came down to identifying some feelings, giving permission to being kind to themselves in the moment; and then…and only then, determining what felt like a helpful next step to take.
What I realized for myself is that the resilience, and strength I witnessed in my clients (even if they couldn’t feel it in the moment) was possible. I had the privilege of reminding them that they could have permission to feel bad if that is what they wanted to do, and then to decide how long they wanted to feel this way, and most importantly to begin to map out a path of what they wanted to do next. To navigate the next few days, weeks or even months with immense self-kindness, perspective, pause (when needed) and more self-care in the way that felt best.
At the end of the day I felt more alive than I had in months, though I was still tired physically and emotionally. It would not be a snap of a finger to make the transition from this election to the next steps. What I was able to tell others during the day also allowed me to hear that I too had permission to feel as I needed, and then create a plan for next steps that would again allow me to feel able to exhale and move forward in a more positive way.
I say that I am grateful for the work I do as a wellness coach, and on this day, the gratitude overflowed. I could have stayed in bed, thrown the covers over my head, and tried to escape (which was pretty tempting). Getting up was the first goal I set for myself, and taking each step as it came was the next plan. Meeting with clients got me out of my head (and got me out of bed), and allowed me to begin to heal, breathe, and move on. These are my lessons for myself, and the way in which my job as a wellness coach saved me from myself at a difficult time.