Theodore Roosevelt said, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
This quote can be the key to slowing down any overwhelming feelings, reducing stress, and living the life you really want. Really you say? YES! In coaching the belief is that you are completely whole and resourceful. You are not broken or in need of being fixed. And yet, somehow there is probably a piece of us all that feels like we’d like to change something.
What if we could change something in our lives without the feeling of being overwhelmed or without any self-shaming? Following the words of Roosevelt, we can do just that each and every day.
Now before you run in another direction, take a moment to breathe, and know that I wouldn’t set you up to fail or move in a direction that doesn’t feel natural for you. First thing to know is that each of us has our own unique tipping point for change. Because of this we have to tap into ourselves more deeply with awareness, and kindness to decide what we really want and need.
You might want to get a piece of paper and pen out at this point, or open a new document on your computer to write down the following answers to the following questions. Having information written down helps to solidify the thoughts you have swimming around in your head, and brings you closer to actualizing the goals you set for yourself.
The first step of this process is to ask yourself, “What do I want (really want) in my life right now?” Think realistically about what one specific change you would like to see happen. Maybe you would like to lose weight, start or enhance an exercise routine, reduce stress in your day, or even sleep better at night. These are all noble and worthy goals, though it’s best to think specifically about what you want as you jot down your answers. How much weight (realistically) would you like to lose, in what timeframe etc. Keep asking yourself questions to get to the granular level of what you really want.
Next, ask yourself, “Why do I want this change in my life right now?” In other words, why is this change important to you right now? Be specific! If we’re following the weight loss theme, then perhaps you might look at wanting more energy in your life, and knowing that less weight might mean an improvement in the energy you have each day. It might be something else. My examples are general thoughts that will hopefully allow you to engage with your inner knowing so you can zero in on what you need most. You get to choose the answer here that works for you.
The next question to ask yourself is “What might change in your life when you implement this change in your life?” Would you feel different than you do now, and if so, how? (Be specific) Think about a “day in the life of YOU” as you answer this question. How does the world look like to you through the lens of the life you are leading as your future self. Are relationships different? In what ways are you different, and is this what you want?
Now that you have thought about what you want change to look like and feel like, along with the benefits of this change, now you get to think realistically about how you put this into practice. Take a deep breath and reward yourself for taking these steps so far. It keeps getting better…I promise!
Here’s where the Roosevelt quote really comes into practice. Ask yourself, “What 1 thing can I do in this moment that I know I can feel success doing?” No crazy goals here. A simple, thought out goal that helps you move forward toward your goal, while allowing you to feel like you’re stretching yourself a little bit. It shouldn’t be a goal that is so easy you could “phone it in” though it should be something you can feel confident about doing in a timeframe that is realistic. If helpful, think about whether you have ever done this same sort of thing with success in the past. If so, see if any of the tools you have used might work now. For instance, did you track what you ate in the past online, with an app, or on paper? If so, what benefit did you find, and could this be something to try again?
Now is the time to set the first goal. Walk before you run. I mean this literally AND figuratively. If exercise is your goal, and you would like to run a 5K. GREAT! If you’ve never run a 5K, you have never run before, AND you don’t even own a pair of sneakers, then slow your roll and get realistic. Maybe the first goal is set around buying a pair of sneakers. Then you can slowly set goals around walking “X” amount of steps each day or week. The general guideline for a good day of walking is 10,000 steps, though for you it might be 100 or 1000 or 2000 etc as you get started. Be realistic, stretch yourself, and be kind!
What is the first thing you say to yourself after you set this goal? Do you say, “I CAN do this!” or do you tell yourself “I should do this”? Be honest with yourself, and then take a step back. BREATHE! If you’ve asked yourself the latter question, think about whether you’ve set the right goal for you in this moment. Maybe you’ve skipped a goal or set the goal a little too far from where you are now. If in doubt, continue to ask yourself questions to clarify your intentions to make sure they are aligned with what you really want and need in that moment. Feeling success at every step is the goal to propel you to the next place forward, so check in with yourself and see how you feel. Being kind to yourself, knowing where you are, what you have, and that you CAN do what you set out to do is key. Keep asking yourself questions and be honest with yourself. Give it a try, and let me know how it’s working out. As always, I’m glad to work with you to help you reach your goals anytime!